knock on our door.

Taken in the Mission District of San Francisco

This is a repost. I've decided to put this back up, but know that it is simply me living in tension. I'm not professing, declaring or asserting anything other than the fact that I'm learning how to live generously with wisdom. Note doing this is costly at times, but this is a price Zach and I are willing to pay.

As many of you know Zach and I relocated to North Carolina a year ago. Have you ever tried to tell a realtor that you DON'T want to live in the nicest area, and actually prefer to live in the areas that most people avoid. Well, God led us to this house, not her. Ask me about it another day. That said, we actually thought we ended up in a "nicer" area per the reports of the previous owners. However, since the economic downfall there has been nothing but break-in after break-in, random people knocking on doors telling crazy stories, and real people telling quite possibly real stories. Here is where I've been jaded since moving out East. I'm on the threshold letting fear absorb my desire for generosity.

I don't think I blogged about the questions that these experiences have raised in me these past few months, that is, being victims of a break-in once, then a second attempt, being approached by a woman seemingly in need, helping her out, then her coming to our door at midnight, and then a new visitor tonight (last week). A young white male comes to our door at 1am needing a ride to Raleigh for what sounds like good reason. What in the world, do we have a sign that says..."Come and knock on my door" (Name that TV show theme song).

Where do I begin?

1.) I've been jaded by technology. As a member of our community list-serv I hear too much about what is going on in our neighborhood, including someone shining a light in a gal's window at 2am in the morning. Yes, she's our age (younger), lives alone, and yes, this was only 3 blocks away. So, as you can tell, I'm a little on edge.

2.) But the life we have chosen is costly (at times). And in this tension I'm reminded of this word, this ideal, this hope, this purpose that I live for, SHALOM (on earth as it is in heaven). That all would be made right, that all would be whole again (to put it in the most simplest terms). You've perhaps read my previous post(s) on Jeremiah 29 and seeking the shalom of the city or Isaiah 58. How am I seeking the shalom when I tell Zach to shut the door and send the young man on his way? Zach was ready to take him to Raleigh (despite being pulled out of his REM sleep). Bogus story or not, I'm talking about deeper tensions, not the practicalities of this particular situation.

3.) Alas, here I am. Bummed. Did I ask Zach to turn a man away who needed help. What about all those other men who knock on doors solely to case a house or get quick money. But really, who knocks on a door at 1am? Perhaps someone who really needed help, that's who.

Back to my statement, do we have a sign that says, "come and knock on my door"? I'd surely hope so - be it visual or spiritual! Our house is a place of peace, we long to be people of peace opening our doors to those in need, not just entertaining, but offering hospitality. If you were at our wedding, you heard the scripture.

This was one of 2 wedding scriptures we intentionally had spoken at our wedding and into our marriage. This is the home I long to create. I refuse to be muffled by fear, but must at the same times be wise I understand this. Pray for us. Pray we would be people of love, hope, patience, prayer, hospitality, blessing, comfort, peace, humility, and PEACE in this neighborhood.

~seeking shalom.